god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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