hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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