At least make sure they are 18
Why
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
