I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
