I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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