everyone is single if you try hard enough
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
