Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
