sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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