jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
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I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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