Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
