so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
