i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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