Say something about gay babies.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
