walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
