honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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