I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Alive.
So much puke
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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