He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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