I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
