If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
