We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
