just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
