In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
