After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
