i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
