Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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