You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
