what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
