he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
