K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
