The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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