who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
