So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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