like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
