You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
