I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
