Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my shit smells like andre
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
