he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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