We won't sleep together?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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