New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
