Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im drinking this country out of the recession.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
