It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
