The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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