I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize