He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
