I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
