Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
