we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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