scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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