there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home