Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
