i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.