Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.