I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
