dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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