I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
