Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
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The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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