Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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