Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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