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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized

  (914): View more from New York

  No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.

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• (714): View more from California

  I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?

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• (914): View more from New York

  He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.

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• (516): View more from New York

  He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing

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