Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble

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  (617): when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble http://tfl.nu/6bym
  Replies (10) Good night (1785) Bad night (801)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.

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  (512): Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks. http://tfl.nu/o3m2
  Replies (13) Good night (656) Bad night (3459)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex

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  (414): and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex http://tfl.nu/wscy
  Replies (22) Good night (1242) Bad night (5501)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.

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  (262): I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical. http://tfl.nu/ictl
  Replies (19) Good night (4786) Bad night (1346)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.

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  (617): Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy. http://tfl.nu/ysza
  Replies (30) Good night (4117) Bad night (2316)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister

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  (973): I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister http://tfl.nu/i2jt
  Replies (17) Good night (6731) Bad night (1340)
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  (714): View more from California

  there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.

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  (714): there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe. http://tfl.nu/faaw
  Replies (10) Good night (2567) Bad night (1139)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"

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  (937): I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome" http://tfl.nu/uiv4
  Replies (3) Good night (1297) Bad night (552)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me

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  (775): The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me http://tfl.nu/fs79
  Replies (3) Good night (1299) Bad night (623)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You took my underwater blowjob virginity.

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  (304): You took my underwater blowjob virginity. http://tfl.nu/gggt
  Replies (5) Good night (1708) Bad night (531)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.

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  (847): I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time. http://tfl.nu/5b3l
  Replies (4) Good night (1173) Bad night (486)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.

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  (720): hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now. http://tfl.nu/pc1n
  Replies (8) Good night (1629) Bad night (515)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".

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  (+44): No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills". http://tfl.nu/ec0b
  Replies (3) Good night (745) Bad night (469)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.

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  (770): High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner. http://tfl.nu/6vaw
  Replies (3) Good night (1214) Bad night (334)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'

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  (206): I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!' http://tfl.nu/jna3
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (206)

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