I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
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I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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