I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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