Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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