If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
