dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she smelled like a LAN party
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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