i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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