I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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