yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I need a burrito and a hug.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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